I need drama.

I find that the things that I need and the things I want are rarely one in the same. It’s a shame really. However, I think I should win some sort of prize for choosing what I want, when I should be choosing what I need. It always seems like a good idea and it seldom is. But that hasn’t stopped me in the past and I doubt it will stop me in the future. I think that many performers and artists choose this sort of life because it gives them a reason not to “grow up.” When it all boils down to it, actors are just playing dress up. They are pretending to be somebody else for other people’s enjoyment. Is that a general truth or just true for me?

That being said, I surround myself with performers, musicians, artists… I get bored with “regular” people—I need excitement, mystery, and drama—I need someone who is always “on.” There are, of course, obvious downfalls to this but try as I might, I can’t convince myself to settle for any less. …There is so much more I could write about this right now, but as it is, I have to be awake and functioning in less than six hours. Good-night.

Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong but we take leap after leap in the dark. –Agnes De Mille